Sean

Hey Sean, how many time I told you that life is responsibility
There is no such of getting free
Survive, to watch the manifest of the almighty
Among you, me and everybody

Hey Sean,
You gotta have a good heart,
You gotta keep it safe and right
Believe and put your head on the floor
Even when you fight it caused your fingers to four

Sean,
I trust the future in your hand
I am sure that its not gonna be white like sand
Could be dark or bright
But stick still on the good side

Sean...
You are the son that I've never had
But you have the spirit that I've dream at
Be the leader at least for yourself
And I'll be watching like I've never left

Take care Sean.....

Done

Its like a brilliant fantastic message. I was amazed with a billboard of a clear words on it, clear and straight message.

Well, I don't know or not remember exactly word per word of the bilboard says, but its like this, that person is gone mate, and wake up, carry on the life.

Then its a great thing, so I don't have to find out anything anymore, its been forgotten.

Cheers Mate,

Gotta Know

You gotta Know

Marking

Another time, different day, different year but the same flash of memories, not one but million of them, once schene to another, one part to the other. From the first step towards that door until the last time I saw the face of the most person who once I needed the most.
In this movie "Blind Side", was talking about a brilliant football player, Michael Oher, he has a very great gift, "forgetting the past". I wish that gift is like for everyone, just to forget and eradicate the regret which has to be like that as the reason to move on. It does not make any sense to memorize something or moments which not creating any different or even worse, its only happening in my side and not the other.

I realize that I need two things in this world, a chance to deliver how much I regret and then to forget.

To stop my brain for a while and to get rid all the thoughts for a while.

Feeling and Responsibility

I've never talk about any of my feelings in me to anyone but then one of a persistant friend asked so many questions about feeling, happiness and other things related. For no reason at all, I don't know how to explain about feelings, not even to myself.

Lot of story of a non fiction happenned in my life. Happy, sad, dumb and even non sense one. But in those stories, mistake is one of the color of each paragraphs. Those mistakes were not planned, because I was and still am aware that it won't make me proud to myself.

I know that I could never escape from those mistakes and the people whom I made mistake of. Those mistakes and those faces are the pictures in my brain, circulating and rotates like a running text display at the groceries store or mobile phone store. I don't have a nerve to get at their door step and knock on the door for apologize.

But when that persistant friend asked those questions, it just like a truck full of coal, black and dirty, those shadows of mistakes hit me, again and again. And then I was like imagining, what is it like to have a capability of forgetting the pass including those mistakes and faces. Its not possible, its like a scratch, no blood, with leave scars. I think that is the same thing happen to those people that I made those mistakes to, or even worse.

I begin to think to knock those doors, but then how? Do I have a right to do that? Do they will open the door? And what sort of obligation for them to listen to me? It was all by me, the man with bunch of sins and darkness all of those mistakes, hurt and bad dreams being created.

I don't know if it was appropriate to leave a message of one word "SORRY", with all means of regrets for what I did in the past. No body is going to live forever, and even if there was one, I don't think its an option to be immortal with all mistakes as a burden.

"Sorry" is not just a simple word to say just in order to ease my life. Its not fair, not at all, but I need to do this, saying this word over and over to all of you.

I'm not trying to justify for all that I've done in the past since now I'm living my responsibility instead of the feelings in me.